


Mama, can you die from a broken heart?

by impractical_matters



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: A lot of hugs, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Depression, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hypothermia, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Instability, Mentioned Claudia Stilinski - Freeform, Mentioned Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Mentioned Sheriff Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23949946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impractical_matters/pseuds/impractical_matters
Summary: It wasn’t like this was the first time he had been here. So many times before he’d found himself in this exact same spot, down on his knees in the dirt with tears in his eyes and clenched fists as he stared at his mother’s headstone. But this wasn’t the same. This time, it was worse, so much worse.--The Sheriff dies at the end of 3A, and Stiles does not handle it very well (or at all).
Comments: 12
Kudos: 25





	Mama, can you die from a broken heart?

**Author's Note:**

> Here is some unnecessary personal information. . .
> 
> The title is ironic, not because Stiles’s mother is already dead, but because my mother died from a broken heart. A week after my father died, my mother passed away. It really sucked (yeah understatement, I know) in general, but even more so because I had to watch her slowly fade away over a week and I could tell she was checking out. So it’s a real thing, dying from a broken heart, which is referenced in this story. 
> 
> And just in time for the start of Mental Health Month! Not really sure this is the kind of thing I should be posting right now, however my story is relevant is some way because it happens to deal with this year’s Mental Health Month initiative:
>
>> this year’s Mental Health Month initiative will focus on common aspects of isolation and loneliness: how to protect, maintain, and improve your mental health, how to manage your relationships inside and outside of your household, how to combat boredom, and how to deal with the grief you might be feeling.
> 
> For more information, visit [Tumblr - Support During Mental Health Month](postitforward.tumblr.com)
> 
> PSA Warning: This story does not reflect my current mental health. If you or any of your loved ones are struggling with thoughts of suicide or even mention feeling this way at all, please get help! It’s never too late to find hope and get help, and just remember you are not alone. For more support please visit: [The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) Or call: 1-800-273-8255 to speak to someone. Calls are free and confidential, available 24/7/365.
> 
> Art Link: [Mama, can you die from a broken heart?](https://impractical-matters.tumblr.com/post/616945085204070400/teen-wolf-fan-fic-mama-can-you-die-from-a-broken)
> 
> This is not beta read. All mistakes are my own.

It wasn’t like this was the first time he had been here. So many times before he’d found himself in this exact same spot, down on his knees in the dirt with tears in his eyes and clenched fists as he stared at his mother’s headstone. But this wasn’t the same. This time, it was worse, so much worse.

The ground was wet and soft, the upturned grass still mounded over where the ground had been opened and back-filled. His knees were wet, soaked through from the previous night’s rain, and he could feel the tears burning in his eyes. He blinked repeatedly and let them fall freely.

There was no one around to see him cry so there was no point in holding it in. And even if there was someone else around, fuck them. He was an orphan now; he had the right to cry whenever he fucking wanted, and if that happens to be for the next however long he decides he wants to cry, then so be it. Nothing else mattered anyways. The person he had been fighting so hard to protect was gone, so there was no one to put on a facade for anymore. No reason to hide what he was feeling, or trying to cover up the truth so his dad wouldn’t get dragged into another supernatural fiasco, but oh shit, too late.

This was all his fault and it didn’t matter what anyone else said, he knew that was the truth and nothing could or would change that.

Stiles placed a hand on each of the stones before him, squeezing his eyes closed tight and bowed his head as the sobs began to wrack through his shivering body. Slowly the sobs grew and when the shaking wouldn’t stop he found himself curling inward, down on the cold wet ground where the last of his family was buried. He couldn’t feel anything, his body going numb from the continuous strain and stress of the shock. His breathing had slowed as he welcomed the empty he felt slowly creeping in around him.

_This was good, this was better,_ he thought.

_If I’m not here anymore than I don’t have to go through this. I can just stay right here and wait until it’s all over. It shouldn’t take long, and I’m willing to wait. It can’t possibly hurt any more than the pain I feel now._

_I can’t imagine a greater pain than losing the ones who gave you everything; who raised you and loved you and protected you. And I’m so sorry dad that I couldn’t do the same for you. I failed you, I failed everyone and I know you’d say it wasn’t my fault, but we both know that’s just not true._

_I could have been honest from the start. I could have come to you and explained, and showed you the proof that I know you would have needed to believe me. Not that I could blame you for being skeptical; werewolves, kaminas, banshees and killer druids, yeah sounds totally plausible. But with the proof in your hands, maybe you could have helped me. . . helped all of us. But I was scared; I was so terrified of what would happen if I dragged you into everything, and even when I tried to keep you out, keep you away from everything, you still got caught in the crossfire._

_I made mistakes, but unlike a normal teenager in a normal everyday human world, my mistakes had way more severe consequences than any of us could have imagined. I wasn’t strong enough to fight, not like the wolves, and maybe if I had taken the bite I could have protected you better. Well, it’s still too late and I know you would be disappointed with how I’m not dealing with everything. How I’m giving up, and wow this seems familiar. I watched you slowly withering away right in front of me after mom died, but unlike then, there’s just nothing left for me to fight for._

_Scott’s all gone and lovesick or whatever, and it was hard for him to be around me when mom died, and I’m not so sure he would really be able to fix this with his misplaced positivity and optimism. And really there’s no one else around who cares whether I live or die, so I think that settles it._

_I’d rather be with you both than suffer here alone. Because I just can’t live in a world where my home is gone and it is, _truly_. Despite it still standing, the house is empty and the walls are covered in broken fading memories of the past. There’s nothing there but ghosts, and the painful reminders of all that I have lost and will never get back. If I sell it and leave, I’ll always want to come back and reclaim it; and if I burn it to the ground, the guilt and the pain of losing not only both of you but the house where we lived, well that would destroy me too._

_So why wait?_

_Why wait it out?_

_Why not just get it over with?_

_Make it all stop, and maybe when I’m dead I’ll be able to feel something other than this utter never-ending pain that’s been slowly eating me alive ever since we lost mom. Or maybe I’ll end up in hell and suffer for the rest of eternity because I am the reason my father is dead and I couldn’t stop it. But maybe I can stop the pain. I can just stop everything._

It wouldn’t be long then. Stiles had already lost all feeling in his extremities and his breathing was becoming painfully shallow as his heart continued to slow while the hours passed. He could barely feel the cold anymore. There was nothing left to do, but wait.

He was good at that, well now that he had lost all motor function and was laying immobile on the cold wet ground in front of his parents’ headstones, the ADHD he once knew as a constant irritation and frequent distraction in his daily life was so far from him mind, he couldn’t even remember what it felt like to twitch and ramble and annoy everyone around him. He certainly wouldn’t miss that.

And maybe no one else would miss that either.

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative Title: When The Day Gets Long 
> 
> I left the end ambiguous in case I continue this, so just to be clear we didn't actually see Stiles die. If anyone would be interested in reading more, let me know, but for now it stands as is. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@impractical-matters](https://impractical-matters.tumblr.com/)


End file.
